What Will I Say?

October 8th, 2007

This week I have to go on local tv, and it might as well be Oprah or 60 Minutes because I will be so nervous the front of my knees will sweat. And it’s all bone there, how is that even possible? Even though I’ve done this show half a dozen times over the years, I always worry I’ll either go completely mute (huh?) or else I’ll start babbling like the proverbial brook and shout out answers to things they don’t even ask me:
* Yes, I slept with an encyclopedia salesman but it was the 70s. Didn’t everyone?
* I hate to recycle.
* I inhaled (just once!)
* I faked an orgasm (just once!)
* I really really want to date a Secret Service Agent or a Republican.
Ugh, stop me before I blurt. Thank god I don’t have Tivo.

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