Trash Talk

September 24th, 2011

I wish I could write that I say “yes” more often than “no,” but I’d be lying to myself if I did. Most often, I say “maybe,” or “doubt it,” or just “whatever.” That’s when I’m not berating myself for not being taller, younger, thinner, smarter or simply not enough. I’m embarrassed to admit that Simply Not Enough is my default setting. I’m not sure there’s ever been a time in my life that I stopped and admired something I’d accomplished without a nagging inner voice saying it could have been better, bigger, bolder. Or looked in a mirror and wholeheartedly liked what I saw. Or made a decision and not second-guessed myself. And yet Yes is so simple. Yes, I want to devour that double dip ice cream cone sensually and soulfully without feeling guilty five minutes later. Yes, I will stay in bed all weekend and forget about being an adult with chores to do. Yes, I will kiss your mouth off your face. Yes, I will never stop believing in love no matter how many times it kicks me in the ass. Maybe some lucky people are welcomed into the world on the breath of a “yes” while others, like me, take a lifetime to learn the language. Yes. It’s never too late.

One Response to “Trash Talk”

  1. Jen says:

    This really moved me. Why is it so hard?

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