Time Lines

November 7th, 2010

I have all my appointments on my iPhone, with Alerts and Second Alerts and Alarms and Birthdays and it makes me feel quite nuts because it’s all so kind of Invisible. Everything seems to be happening at once in a very overwhelming way. Is it because I’m too old to keep a digital calendar, too structured to have my dates floating in the ether? I know that time is not linear, that all kinds of things from the past invade the present, blur the lines between Was and Is, that we cycle around and around, committing the same sins, hitting the same sensitive spots over and over in the great return. But when it comes to “Dentist–Nov 10” or “Logan’s Bday, Dec 28” I have to see it all laid out before me like hopscotch time. I crave the white space of open days when nothing is required of me except to dawdle, dream or wander. I need to cross off accomplishments, cancel activities on a day that is too full, put a star sticker by exercise, draw a heart around special events or anniversaries of the heart, doodle a yellow sun on a day I’m really happy, glue oddments and ephemera to the page. That’s the calendar I tape to the inside of my front door so that I can see it first thing in the morning when I leave for work and last thing when I’m locking the door at night.  A little roadmap that gives me the illusion of control, order, security and writes a shorthand short story about my life.

2 Responses to “Time Lines”

  1. Kim says:

    Hi there,

    I just discovered this site and am eating it up!! I love visiting – its soul-replenishing. Thank you for sharing!!!

  2. Jen says:

    I do the same thing! Like you, I have all the digital calendars and alerts and automatic emails and yet I still want to see it all in front of me. On paper!

    Love the doodles and stars on yours!

Leave a Reply