The Open Road

April 26th, 2008

Last Wednesday, I had to give a speech to 150 people about taking risks. I was so nervous I had to start seeing a shrink again, and I didn’t get the final version finished til the day before. Then on Thursday, I had an emergency root canal, and yesterday I accidentally melted the monitor on my laptop with a halogen lamp. It should have been a terrible week, but I was so elated to have the speech done that the rest of it was just a shrug. I’ve been dreading giving that speech for months and months, ever since I agreed to do it. In my mind, it was like a giant boulder blocking my life path. I literally couldn’t make a plan for anything without thinking of it as pre- or post-speech. My fear kept me from starting to write it, my fear kept me from figuring out what I’d say, my fear ruined many hours by filling them with anticipation anxiety. As it turned out, the speech went beautifully. The audience seemed to love it, and my self confidence rocketed. I didn’t forget anything, I had great notes, and I had rehearsed it a gazillion times out loud beforehand–something I’d never done in the past. There are enough roadblocks that other people and random circumstances put in my path without giving them a helping hand. I need to stop creating drama trauma for my pysche. Here’s one remedy…start asking myself every Sunday what I’m looking forward in the coming week instead of what I’m dreading. I want to set out on Mondays like Walt Whitman…

Afoot and light-hearted I take to the open road,

Healthy, free, the world before me,

The long brown path before me leading wherever I choose.

2 Responses to “The Open Road”

  1. Anonymous says:

    i wish i’d been in the audience. you inspire to no end. every single day.