Stop Being Small

December 10th, 2007
The card I pulled from my Oblique Strategies box tonight read, “Trust in the you of now.” For some reason, I’ve encountered swollen egos everywhere I’ve turned in the past few weeks, and whenever it happens, I feel myself start to shrink and shrivel and emotionally be-little myself. I become small in spirit and small-minded. Instead of remembering the ways I count, I count the ways I fail: I don’t write as well as X; I’ll never be as confident as Y; I’m not as likable as Z. What the Oblique Strategies card reminds me is that other people’s egos and achievements aren’t my business, that I need to refocus on what I love to do, not what I’m doing in comparison to others. Whenever I re-learn, re-live this lesson, I can feel my true Self (my daemon?) come circling back home, not lost, not flying in circles, not flapping its wings and getting nowhere. I get my bearings back, my soul’s GPS, my true north.

2 Responses to “Stop Being Small”

  1. Ida B. says:

    If only you knew how I aspire to write one tenth as well as you— to be able to convey stories, memories, and emotions as richly as you. To be as vibrant and spunky as you. To live in a magical blue house filled with colorful talismans. I relish being in the aura of Nikki!

    I’m so glad you are blogging again. Now I don’t have show up in your office, hop around on one foot, and beseech you for another post as though I’m summoning the rain in the midst of a drought.

    Shall we gang up on David? His commitment to blog every Sunday has fizzled. We need some esoteric musings to go along with your evocative sentiments.

    Want to go have beets at FIG?

  2. the saint says:

    Well after a month of colds, flights, death, near death, and arguments with redneck plumbers — I reconnect with rita frida. a lifetime has gone by , tiny elvis. text a time my oblique friend and will try to undo myself and be there. –