My Word for 2010

February 7th, 2010

…is Change. I veer between thinking that change is inevitably bad or that I’m too old/comfortable/sensible to change. That the house of my life is framed in, dry-walled, insulated and picket fenced. As it should be after years of trying to get to just that state. All the years of not being able to pay the bills on time, of owing the IRS, of driving crap cars, of career ups and downs, of crazy self-drama and unbridled emotionalism, of cobbling together a living until I accidentally hit on something that became a sweet little success. Why would I court Change? Especially when I’m convinced it always means someone leaving, something ending, something falling apart. Early sorrow teaches you to lowball your expectations. So this is my year to sidle up to Change with a carrot in my hand and make peace with that wild unpredictable beast. What if Change means someone new comes into my life. What if Change means an unexpected new beginning or project or talent? What if Change means me letting go instead of hanging on? What if I start dismantling my old ideas about Change? I figure there’s a 50/50 chance of Change being positive, so I’m going to work the odds and envision my 17 year old self getting on an outbound bus again without a clue to the destination. What’s your word for 2010?

One Response to “My Word for 2010”

  1. Meg says:

    Transition. You can make change or have change thrust upon you, but entering into that particular state of transition that change offers up is the place where we can learn about what endings and beginnings mean to us, how we’ve habitually negotiated them. It’s that groundless state of not knowing that I’ve tried to avoid when it comes to transitional states. Today I’m teaching myself to stay put long enough with the fear of uncertainty to be present to the unfolding mystery of my life.

    Thanks for you sharing.

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