My Inner Heroine

January 24th, 2009

An adventuring friend just sent me this photo she took while traveling around South America on her own. I want to be Heroina. Not the heroin that someone just told me this wall graffito refers to, but the original meaning of Heroine. I don’t want to blush when I’m nervous, stutter when confronted, start weeping when I’m angry. Maybe there’s a glitch in my wiring, but my emotions always seem to get shorted out on the way to being expressed. Somewhere between feeling and releasing, a Good Girl gets her hands on the switch and powers them down or dilutes them with tears. Good Girl says no one likes an angry bitch. Good Girl says sugarcoat that outrage. Good Girl says people are staring. It’s easy to say I want to be Heroina, but I don’t think all the Oprah self-talk in a year’s worth of issues can kick Good Girl to the curb overnight. I’m not quite sure how to get there, but I will never stop aiming for it. In the meantime, Heroina tshirts, anyone?

5 Responses to “My Inner Heroine”

  1. sue says:

    Wow!!! What you say!

  2. dragonflyreflections says:

    I could use a Heroina t-shirt. Definitely!

  3. ida b. says:

    Chicka, I got news for you! I sent it to you because *you* sprang to mind the SECOND I spotted it (graffiti on the side of a house in Valparaiso, Chile, by the way). If you’re not Heroina, then I’m Lil’ Bo Peep for sure.

    I’m sitting in a cafe in a village near Machu Picchu listening to the Stones sing “Start Me Up.” The world is très bizarre, ain’t it? Wish you were here.

  4. The Stones and Machu Picchu? OMG wish I were there but I’m not in good enough shape to handle the altitude!

  5. Kathleen Botsford says:

    The Stones and Machu Picchu? #&*! I wish I was there! Your Good Girl has a message for you buried in the shadows. She is just trying her best to keep you safe. Be gentle with her and let her know you can handle it now, she can take a much needed break and you value her input. She will start to let go. Honor her and love her and make her your friend. It is magical. Trust me. She will let go.