My D Cups Runneth Over

August 28th, 2009

Today was my yearly fear day when I have a mammogram. I don’t mind having my breasts flattened and arranged like spatchcocked pigeons–once you’ve delivered kids with no meds or had your ribs split open for some esoteric surgery, a mammogram is child’s play. What I hate and why I’m always late getting one is Waiting for the Results. For days in advance of the mammogram appointment, I become suddenly shy with my breasts, afraid to touch them in case I find something wrong, nervous about their well-being, wondering what’s happening in there. I’ve never had a problematic mammogram, but that doesn’t stop me spinning the worst-case scenario every time. Always before I’ve had to wait several days to get the Results, meaning I’m mentally veering back and forth the whole time wondering if silence means it’s good and they just slid me to the bottom of the pile because they’re busy with more pressing issues, or silence means it’s horrible and they’re trying to figure out how to break the news without me going all apeshit crazy on the phone. This time, my doctor sent me to a new clinic where — get this — they give you the results ON THE SPOT. If my news hadn’t been good, I might have wished for a few days of unknowing, but tonight I am incredibly appreciative of these healthy breasts that often seem too large and unruly for comfort or clothes cut for Kate Moss, and the expensive, underwired bras I bitch about having to buy them. I’ve done nothing to deserve this good luck, but my cups runneth over with gratitude tonight, and tomorrow I’ll be treating them to red lace.

4 Responses to “My D Cups Runneth Over”

  1. seastararts says:

    hey nikki… where was this clinic? I'd rather have an on the spot squish! thanks… nice "D Flowers" photos, too 🙂

  2. Anonymous says:

    We must be neurotic soul sisters! I am the biggest worry wart and I, too, dread the annual mammogram and all the other test along with the lecture about not taking the prescribed drugs. Oh, well…

  3. Allegra Smith says:

    And we are going to hear…when?
    I mean the good news, of course.
    Need an excuse to toast to your health beside the regular ones.

    For the first time two years ago I succumbed to red lace. For some reason I think Gone with the Wind every time a see them in my underwear drawer…

  4. Whosyergurl says:

    Congrats on the good news. I,too, get nervous around pancake time!
    Your title cracks me up! I'm in the same ballpark as you are, so I can relate…underwires and all!
    Cheryl in IN