Kuan Yin Blesses the Kitchen

December 3rd, 2007
Have mercy on this stove that was born before self-cleaning was invented and only has one rack. Have mercy on its owner who is impatient with recipes and directions. Have mercy on whatever lies behind the stove and I pray we never have to go there. Have mercy on the garbage disposal that clogs up for no reason and refuses to grind–may its rage be directed more usefully at lemon rinds and celery behinds. Have mercy on the microwave–it can’t help being friends with fast and frozen food. Let it coexist peacefully with oven-roasted chicken and tagines. Have mercy on General Electric and Jack Welch…he can’t help his hubris and hormones. Have mercy on Alec Baldwin who plays a General Electric executive on tv and who I sometimes hear when I’m moved to the top of the entertainment center at the whim of my owner. May his anger with his ex wife be abated or mediated by a Hollywood Kuan Yin. Have mercy on the kitchen renovation coming soon and may it not last too long and may the granite be the right color. Have mercy on everyone who eats my owner’s cooking. She means well.