I Want a Phototropic Soul

February 18th, 2008

I committed to a friend last week that I would start meditating every day. And the next day I forgot to meditate. I want to be on a spiritual quest, but my soul is so lazy it needs a sherpa to carry it to a higher altitude. I’ve been reading about people who will endure anything to summit Mt. Everest–frostbite, delirium, death–and I wonder why I don’t have that same drive to attain a higher consciousness. Shouldn’t my soul automatically seek enlightenment in the same way a sunflower follows the light?

5 Responses to “I Want a Phototropic Soul”

  1. m-c says:

    Oh dear, i know!

    For me what worked best is starting with 5 minutes, just sitting on a chair straight. Since i just cant have a blank canvas in my mind, i play with images (what is called visualization) and create beautiful, wonderful scenarios in my head.. Sitting there for 5 minutes, seeing wonderful colors spinning around my body, seeing a peaceful light enveloping me, and then dreaming of the most beautiful life… Does this sound too new-age already? Anyways.. i try to keep it simple, and my own way!

  2. your friend says:

    Forcing one’s self into spiritual enlightenment? No, I don’t think it works that way. Maybe the problem is with the commitment. Why did you do that? That might be a key.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Yeah. Trying to get my soul in shape is just as annoying as trying to get my body in shape. There’s no battle in my head about how I WANT to be (slender and serene) or who I want to become (an enlightened woman with a flat stomach – ha!). My mind is totally on board with this plan. I just don’t follow through. Follow-through seem to take so much time out of one’s day.

    You’re right. It would be so much easier if some obsessive drive would just kick in. That’s what those summit-loving climbers have going for them.


  4. Mayberry Magpie says:

    There’s a part of me that thinks I lack discipline because I, too, am so on and off. Not just in meditating, but in EVERYTHING. Then I think — well, Buddhism is the middle path, you know. And if I was the fanatic, the uber-meditator, maybe I’d be on the fast-track, not the middle path.

    At least that’s one juicy rationalization.

    Mayberry Magpie

  5. Island Girl Spirit says:

    Oh God Thank-you . . . It’s nice to know I’m not alone! I stumbled across your Blog, I think through Dragonfly Reflections . . . I just started blogging . . . to get my juices going about writing, creativity, finding my own people . . . I try to meditate, exercise, eat healthy, write, pray, yoga, I always mean so well, but seem to fail on a daily basis! My mind skatters . . . I’m to tired to pump weight . . . Oh just one bite of chocolate- shiiit, not the whole bag again . . . who wants to read my stuff . . . Dear God are you really real . . . Yoga class is so far away on a snowy winter day . . .
    Why am I here? To learn what? I don’t know, but I do know I want to learn it so that I don’t have to come back and do life on earth again!
    I think you’re on the right path, just keep dancing the dance and it will happen . . .