Crazy Messy Life

October 17th, 2007
I spent the whole day being angry, being late, being on the phone in conference calls, being an administrator of useless details, being a writer of memos and emails that everyone forgot as soon as they read them, being defeated by my disorganized messy life. I want to wake up into a state of mind that is as pure and intense and timeless as the calla lilies I saw growing wild in a California field, but instead I have become a pointless paper pusher, a minder of details. I want fresh ideas to bloom, but instead I’m retreading the same ground, churning up a lot of dust, growing nothing new. It’s hard to trust that I’ll find a way out of this mental cubicle I call work.