Blue Sky Moments

January 15th, 2013

Walking to the island that lies just over a drawbridge from my neighborhood this weekend, I was listening to iTunes and taking photos and Being Here Now. I thought about how lucky I am that a special person in my life keeps pulling me back into this very moment, reminding me that we don’t know that we’ll have the next second, minute, day, year, future. For once I wasn’t walking to get somewhere, to get rid of calories, to put a check mark in the Daily Exercise column. A long time ago when I was in my 40s and broke and without prospects, I lived on an island in a tiny pea pod of an apartment with no heat or air or closets. But I went to the beach all the time and always managed to buy wine and groceries and pay the rent on the time. Yes, I worried about not having a job I loved and sometimes working little better than minimum wage and going without health insurance or a reliable car, but I was never in danger of being out on the street. And I had a hell of a good time. Flash forward to 2013 and I own a house and a car and a 401k, and I’ve started and sold a successful business, but now I’m more cautious than I ever was then. I hesitate about taking a risk and not having a secure future, as if any of us have that in reality. There’s a quote by Joseph Campbell that I love: “If you’re falling…dive.” When I take risks, it’s more like I run up to the shoreline and then when the wave rolls in, I race back to safe, dry land before I get wet. I’m a lousy swimmer, but I’m trying to learn that there are times when you just have to let go and dive. 

3 Responses to “Blue Sky Moments”

  1. We do build such complicated safety nets, in our lives, in our thinking, in our philosophies, in our work. The more we have, the more we fear having less. Why is that?

    Maybe this is why we recoil from the life style magazines–they don’t inspire us, they make us focus on what we lack, what we can’t have. They’re a big distraction from the beauty right in front of us.

  2. Uma says:

    I can’t help but wonder if this is due to having more and not wanting to lose it or if it is also partially thanks to the constant drumbeat of bad news we are exposed to every day. I don’t remember the news being so discouraging and scary even a decade ago. It makes it hard to initiate any change, that’s for sure.

    Personally I’m somewhat comforted by hearing where you were at in your 40’s, being 41 and on the verge on enormous change…and wishing I could have made these changes a little earlier in life.

  3. Haley Shaw says:

    I’m so encouraged by this, Nikki! Beautifully, beautifully said.

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