A New View

March 7th, 2013

My yard is dead and mostly dirt, but if I look out my back door I can see the tops of the bamboo trees that when I planted them were barely as tall as me and now look they were transplanted from Jurassic Park instead of the local nursery.  They let me ignore the sand spurs and the stunted fig tree and the rose bush that never dies but never gets any bigger and instead pretend I’m in the beautiful bamboo forest I hiked through on Oahu once. I’m trying to focus on the good things in my life right now because my life is changing in a big way. Starting next month, I’ll be going part-time at the magazine I started 18 years ago and letting go of the current version of the  job that became my identity. The upside is that I’ll have more time to concentrate on writing for Skirt! and creating new features and maybe even doing some writing just for myself. The hard part is letting go and trusting that something else will come along to fill those empty parts. But I worry about the transition. If I’m working from home, will I start drinking at noon? Will I start going to Starbucks in my pajamas? (Okay, I’ve actually done that before once or twice.) Will I start watching porn, or even worse, daytime TV? And the biggest question of all…who will I be in a new room of my own?


3 Responses to “A New View”

  1. If you start watching daytime TV, I’m going to drive to SC and stage an intervention. You’ve been warned!

    My suggestion? Don’t worry too much about how you will “fill” those hours. Don’t try to fill them in some kind of Puritan quest to stay “productive” and to give yourself something “exciting” and “acceptable” to tell people when they ask you what you do. Those hours will fill themselves with good things (new and old) if you let them. Don’t rush it. It will happen–and you will be You no matter what.

  2. Donna M says:

    Now that’s a big deal . . . Lots of good wishes going your way.

    I’m several years from taking that step, but I’m already thinking about it. Turns out the things that get on my nerves the most about my job (having to be there at a certain time, how much time it takes, daily problem solving)are probably the very things I’m going to miss the most, that and being in close contact with such a variety of personalities.

    But as this chapter starts to wind down, surely I can move on to something even more fulfilling?! I’m looking at you for clues, young lady. Hopefully your “me writing” includes continued posting on this blog. I look forward to reading about the ongoing adventure that occurs in the land between your heart and your head, and how that adventure will manifest itself in your approach to life. Carry On and Thrust Yourself Forward!

  3. To answer your question: You’ll be more yourself! The best elements of your curious heart and soul will be fed by time to play with words. Or at least that’s how I see it.

    I’ve been “working from home” for 5 years now and I think going back to an “office” would be difficult.

    I am saddled by those Puritan imperatives and so I’ve developed a way to making fun of myself when I need to lighten up. And a great habit of look it the funny pics and caption on I Can Haz Cheezburger.

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