Big Red Sun

October 20th, 2007

I was going to put up an image of a Big Red Sun, a la Lucinda Williams, but Blogger won’t let me. So I’ll just say that I foresee a need for plenty of liquid serotonin in my future. Instead of hot smouldering days, grilled and steamed just the way I like it, the weather has downshifted into autumn overnight. The light is sad and melancholy, laying long shadows across the grass, stretching soundlessly into winter. So I’m sad, getting-up-in-the-dark sad, “September Song” sad. It happens every year, and I never get used to it. Suddenly I’ll realize I’m crying over a Volvo commercial or worrying about whether Britney Spears will run out of money and then then I’ll remember, Oh yeah, there goes the sun again.

One Response to “Big Red Sun”

  1. the saint says:

    i imagine life can often be like a late night radio guy somewhere west of Omaha. You have had a regular day filled with dentist appointments, grocery store lines, and red lights. Now it is time to mentally lie down and you have no idea whether or not anyone cares. just the confirmation that someone is listening can be enough. why does the child care that their mother watches him/her jump off of the high dive?

    i often feel that way — in fact, i rarely feel otherwise. i have had so many physical injuries that my new primary care physician asked me if i had been abused. i have often commented that i want to feel my life. i have. i substituted physicality for lack of emotional closeness.

    i am trying not to bash my body anymore as it does carry my head around.

    fridaritalloyd, there is a postive force in the universe. but — if there were no negative, we would lack the clarity to see the difference. i rarely perform routine maintenance on my life when things are going well. human nature or the curse of only one X chromosome.

    only recently has my mother commented that she is quite proud of the person i have become and that she had not really noticed completely over the years (47 of them.)

    my point — observation of the good way in which you live your life while it may feel good — is likely neither necessary or real.

    listen to “Memory Motel” Rolling Stones and put that poser, Al Gore, to bed and leave the light on, because you are home. ag