Where I Live

April 2nd, 2013

water towerThis water tower is a block away from my house in the little town I like to think of as Not UnPleasantville. I’m always trying to escape it because I hanker after bright lights, big city. But after I’ve had a dose of that, I wonder what I’m running away from. Neighbors who don’t shoot guns into the air or fly a Confederate flag? The prayer flags and wind chimes on my porch? The unfailingly, astonishingly firm bed that receives me like a solicitous lover every night? ┬áThen the big idea of New York or London creeps in, and I’m chasing a dream of who I could be there. As a Libra, I’m always swinging between two opposite poles, trying to find a balance that rarely occurs. During group meditation after yoga I can sometimes feel myself poised on the fulcrum of Now, not yearning forward or glancing over my shoulder at regrets or in a whirlwind of desiring something I don’t have. I wish I could achieve that every day but I know myself too well to think it will happen. (Unless my yoga teacher pounds on my door and home-delivers some OM cooking) The closest I usually get is halfway through my second glass of wine on a week night after work. When the house is silent, when the computer is off, when my phone is muted, when I’ve given up on being brilliant, when I’m not planning my next escape, when I’ve accepted that I’m beautifully wounded and imperfect.

 

5 Responses to “Where I Live”

  1. Tammy says:

    It’s about midway through my gin and tonic I start to get there. So many reasons to be content, and yet I experience “the grass is certainly greener” complex almost daily. Sometimes I think it’s an underlying fear of being settled and “done.” I think that physically moving will keep me from stagnation.

  2. claire says:

    imperfect suits me to a t.
    you are too hard on yourself dear friend.
    London is waiting!
    x

  3. Anna says:

    London. New York. Anywhere else really. They are fine places to visit, but do you think that those city dwellers look toward Charleston with longing for Southern hospitality, quiet and long evenings, and people who say hello and smile on the street?

    I want to see it all! I’m all for traveling, jet setting. But I like having this tiny and gentle corner of the world to come home to.

  4. Mary McDaniel says:

    Your last post on political issues defaults to this one. Are you okay?

  5. nikki says:

    I screwed up my site…trying to fix that.

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