I’ve been lucky that for the past 20 years I’ve been able to say, express, write what I want through a business I created and I loved. I don’t underestimate the gift that has been because I know so many people who are locked into jobs that are virtual prisons. Subsistence wages that they can’t do without, families who depend on them, kids going to college, career paths that have become clogged with weeds and ruts but are the only paths open to them at that moment. So I know I’ve been hugely fortunate to be able to rebel rouse, speak out, express myself, shock, innovate and try new things, and I’ve taken it for granted. But seeing the venerable Washington Post get sold this week (it was my neighborhood paper during its glory years) made me realize that change comes to all beings and entities, and if I resist it and shut my eyes to it, I’m keeping yourself small and scared. Because it will come whether I’m ready for it or not. You outgrow things or they outgrow you. You lose people and places you love, no matter how hard you try to keep everything the same. It’s what keeps life interesting, but my first instinct about change is always to deny it, to pull down the shades and turn out the lights. And that’s when I’m the most frightened, the most weak, the most imprisoned. You would think that hanging on to the familiar would keep you safe, but it’s just the opposite. When I can force myself to open my eyes and ask what is the worst that could happen and face it head on, I’m suddenly free. Not that I don’t bite my nails or worry about money or wonder what my future holds or think I’ve made the wrong choices or have to take an Ativan to calm down when I wake up with my heart racing in the middle of the night. I do! I do! I do! That’s my mode–I’m always scared and I always have to pry my own fingernails off the ledge in order to let go. But every time I’ve done that, I’ve landed in a better place. Not necessarily a more comfortable place, maybe a place that’s dark and uncertain, but it’s usually a place I need to be at that time. I keep coming back again and again to the Joseph Campbell quote: “If you are falling…dive.” I like to think there will be wings to catch me whenever that happens.