Trying to Wake Up

November 13th, 2007
Again

My imagination is always falling asleep and I’m always trying to find ways to get it out of bed. Do you ever feel like you’re in one long fight with yourself? Half of me wants to be more spiritual and meditate and maybe become a Sufi or a whirling dervish, while my evil twin would rather have sin than zen. My better angel wants to buy vegetables at the farmer’s market but my evil twin wants the red rice and barbecue pork with the flies hovering over it. The Frida in me intends to start so many amazing projects, but the Britney in me just wants to wallow around on the couch with a People magazine. So every day I’m trying to wake up all over again. When I was home sick this weekend, I was wallowing on the couch with mail order catalogs and fell in love with a gray taffeta shirt photographed against a red background. It was so delicious I could taste the colors, so I got my watercolor crayons out and tried to draw it. I love Caran d’Ache wax pastels because you can wet the page down with a brush and water or you can rub the colors into the paper with your fingers and create all kinds of effects. Just holding them in my hand triggers that first-day-of-school, fresh-pack-of-Crayolas excitement. Remember those days when you couldn’t wait to get out of bed and play? I wonder if it’s possible to get it back.