Time Travel

July 13th, 2011

I’m going back in time this weekend to attend my high school reunion, the first one I’ve gone to even though it has been a million years since I graduated. I’m not quite sure how I feel about it. On one hand, curious. On the other hand, I wonder if it’s better to let sleeping dogs lie. It wasn’t that high school per se was so horrible (although it was bad enough), but rather that my family life was supremely unhappy and grim, and I don’t know if I want to revisit that. Even though I’m much older now, going “home” means I glimpse that sad teenager everywhere I look. Too many landmarks of misery are still standing and even where they’ve disappeared, ghosts walk. Knowing now what lay ahead of me after I left home makes those apparitions even more poignant. I always think I’ve confronted and confounded those lingering memories after each visit, but they still have the power to overwhelm me and pull me under. No matter how much I’ve aged, 17-year-old me is still waiting there to be wounded all over again.

 

 

 

3 Responses to “Time Travel”

  1. Gayle says:

    My 40th reunion is next weekend. I’ll be traveling over 2000 miles from where I now live now to the little mountain town where I was raised. My family situation back then wasn’t great either, and my self-confidence was non-existent. I’m a different person now, but like you, I fear all of that high school angst will come roaring back to beat me down again. I wonder if we ever get over who we were in high school, but still, I approach the reunion as an opportunity to rise above it. A couple of glasses of wine will help with that! Please let us know how it goes for you.

  2. I went back in time last weekend and wrote about it on my blog. Visited the town that was the hub of my teen universe and the place my boyfriends went to college. The world looks different and yet the same. It’s the small town South, full of charm and hospitality and eccentricity and also home to an unofficial caste system and a stifling sense of the insular. I had a good time, truly did enjoy myself, but I was glad to leave too.

  3. nikki says:

    Same kind of town in the south…and I pretty much felt the same way.

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