The Creek’s Sunday Sermon

November 14th, 2012

I came back from my two weeks in NYC exhilarated and unsettled. I didn’t want to be at home. Suddenly my little house seemed way too big after the cozy studio I’d grown accustomed to. I looked at all the stuff I’ve accumulated over the years and was discouraged about how much money I’ve spent on things I can live without. I had a hard landing in South Carolina and I’m sure I seemed like an ingrate  and  a whiny brat to my friends who think the Garden of Eden was modeled on Charleston. The truth is that when I moved here, I never really fell head over heels in love with the landscape even though intellectually I know it’s gorgeous and sensuous and seductive. I never truly bonded. So of course, I get lured away by any Big City with a subway and sirens that go all night and more ethnic restaurants than you could visit in a lifetime. That lust for city life is never going away, but I’m making a very great effort to settle down into myself here. The view of the creek and shrimp boats and a lone figure on the dock near my house is so stunning that I had to stop and remind myself  on my Sunday walk that this can feed me if I let it. I don’t really have a true home and maybe never have — a home that you know without words is where you were born to be. But if Charleston isn’t the geography of my heart, there is no doubt that it has been a harbor, a haven, and an anchorage for my lonely and restless soul. I owe her renewed attention and an intention to love what I have.

3 Responses to “The Creek’s Sunday Sermon”

  1. lucinda says:

    Exquisite photograph.

  2. Sandy Donn says:

    Beautifully stated and you are not alone. I came to Winston Salem as a haven but truthfully it doesn’t speak to me. I think we are constantly evolving and growing out of our shelter, our havens, and some of us continue to seek an ever illusive “home.” Tuning into nature and our surroundings does give solace.

  3. nikki says:

    Thanks so much…I hesitated to write that because of course I love Charleston, but I do believe we have our own internal emotional landscapes that call to us.

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