The Beast in Me

February 11th, 2011

Although I fell in love with this mural in Shoreditch a couple of weeks ago, I think it would be very hard to either adore or endure me right now. Ever since I got back from London with a fractured ankle, I have been a proper bitch. The cast on my leg feels like a log, and all the Velcro strips holding it together want to snarl up together in one big clump when I’m trying to put it on or remove it. Nevertheless, I decided that a cracked ankle would not keep me from the gym, so yesterday I Velcro-ed up and stumped around the workout room being mad at my trainer and everyone there who had two good feet. Then I came home, un-Velcroed, showered and re-Velcroed, and by the time I got to work I was so fucking irritated I wanted to bite someone. I mean really bite. It’s ridiculous to be this maddened by a mere cast considering the disabilities and problems experienced by so many people I know, but I suspect it illuminates why I’m not very good at relationships. I want to be adored and I’m not good at enduring the daily aggravations and compromises required of living with a guy. If the Universe meant to teach me patience and humility by cracking my ankle bone, it’s just not working. Instead, I am becoming frighteningly feral.

8 Responses to “The Beast in Me”

  1. Nikki, it’s your inner Feral Fox. : ) Go ahead, know the offending limb off and get on with your life. ; )

  2. Duh! That’s supposed be “gnaw the offending limb off.” My brain scares me with the way it subs one word for another.

  3. katie weinberger says:

    well,at least it’s a lot more fun to say your broke your ankle while traveling abroad than something like your front porch stairs (how sad would that be!) hope you had a great time on your trip! miss you! katie

  4. nikki says:

    yes and I had a fabulous time!

  5. nikki says:

    I knew that because my brain works the same way! Nikki

  6. claire says:

    come back and hide here. adele playing on the radio. wine flowing. poor parenting by a happy parent. we miss you. and so sorry you are hating that boot on your foot. x

  7. a friend of mine at the gym broke her arm and has been in a depression since….when talking to her she expressed how angry she was at herself for having such a clumsy fall……I knew I had no idea exactly what she was going through…..could only sense it……when you need to work out to feel good, it is sooo hard when you have such a setback………hope your foot gets better real soon…….

  8. Dawn Elliott says:

    Man, can I relate! I have those days when I’m just grumpy about most everything! At those times it’s hard to see that in reality, life is pretty darn great…and that so many others are struggling with very real issues. Attitude adjustments are sometimes hard to come by, no?

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