That Old Devil Moon

November 28th, 2012

 

As I was driving home tonight, the full moon was almost bursting with juice. It hung just above the tree line, pregnant with possibility, blooming in the sky like ripe fruit. I wanted to pull over and take a photo, but suddenly it fell behind the trees, as if it were too heavy to stay afloat.  I wish I could show that swollen, sensual moon, but I have to settle for another juicy moon photo taken at the beach near my house. Yesterday, a friend sent me a newsletter from the School of Shamanism that discussed the significance of this month’s moon and although I’m generally skeptical and doubt-ish, it hit home:

“Between now and the winter solstice on December 21 is a crucial time of letting go, revisiting priorities, separating yourself from what is not in your best interest, and reaching for a higher vibration in all things. Think of this time as the final exams before graduating from whatever group of lessons we agreed to as represented in the current cycle. The new cycle will be like starting a new school; a lot of unknowns and some degree of excitement, anxiety and uncertainty as well as a commitment to do your best. Meet it with enthusiasm and openness instead of fear. And be as prepared as possible.”

This message came to me at a time when I was questioning where I’ve been and where I’m going, who I think I am and who I really am. I’m always so cautious about change and yet I know it’s time, that all the signs are aligned to point me toward letting go. How hard this is! Until you’re ready, and then it’s not hard at all. You look at your life and wonder why you’ve held on to the old stories, the old script, the old endings, the old losses.  I read a beautiful essay by the poet David Whyte recently that suggested we re-examine the stories we cling to about our lives and question whether they are true any longer. I’ve always told myself the story that I will never be able to write a book, that I’m too old to upend my life, that I’ve been a victim and that I’m damaged goods. But what if that’s not true any longer? Then the whole world opens before you, the road illuminated by moonlight, the destination unknown, the ending still unwritten.

 

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