So What?

November 18th, 2012

It’s Sunday night, and I’ve worked flat out all day. I don’t mind that, but because there is evidently some magnetic space storm in progress, I’ve had to make two trips from home to office, lost computer files, realized I had incomplete information on the things I was supposed to be writing about, and found at a crucial moment that docs I wrote on my Mac wouldn’t transfer properly to my work PC so I had to recreate them all by laboriously retyping them. Then various electronic devices lost their charges, and the power cords I needed were always in the place I wasn’t. I was spinning my mental wheels all day, getting stuck in ditches with no way out except to shove mental planks under my brain and gun my engine to get back on the road. I’m used to having writer’s block and I know how to rock my brain back and forth to get out of it, or else just turn the engine off and sit quietly until an idea drives up and jump starts my engine. But being tech blocked — I have no patience because I don’t have the knowledge to help myself. Then I realize I am not in control and will have to ask for/find help. It makes me crazy to be dependent on machines and doodads and gadgets and mysterious software codes. Today, all the tools of my trade broke down when people were depending on me. I wanted to rant and rave and throw stuff at the wall. Instead, I said, “Fuck it,” and came home to roast cauliflower, reheat black beans, pour a glass (or two or three) of red wine and turn on my Kindle. Tomorrow, it will all work out or it won’t, and a year from now, I’ll forget it even happened. I’m realizing that’s the litmus test for most of my life crises.

One Response to “So What?”

  1. Oh how frustrating…but you’re right, when you can’t fight it, the best choice is to surrender and carry on.

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