Secret Life

June 12th, 2008

I want to be a person who keeps a journal but I got tired of rereading entries that veered between monotonously recurring emotional laments and “warm today, planted some basil” one-liners about My Day. Unfortunately I have volumes that are filled with this kind of stuff. I read it and marvel at the tears I wasted on X or wonder why I thought I’d never ever get over Y, whose last name I can’t even remember. When I found an online workshop about keeping a visual journal, I signed up, bought all the supplies, printed out the lessons and put them in a 3 ring binder as instructed–and promptly fell behind all the other participants who seemed to be journaling, pasting, gluing, painting, taping and cutting incessantly and then posting comments to each other about their progress every 10 minutes. I think these women woke up with doublesided tape and an Exacto knife in their hands. I finally had to opt out of the message boards because I felt so inadequate compared to these dynamos. But just signing up for the workshop lit a little fire. I’m not following all the lessons, but I made a list of topics I want to write about. On my first entry, I used silver gesso to paint my journal pages and then wrote two pages on Secrets. Covering up that relentlessly blank white page helped me turn off the blank stare I usually get when I open my journal and feel compelled to find profound sentences and then slam it shut when I can’t. Maybe because it’s not all about Poor Me.

One Response to “Secret Life”

  1. Sue McGettigan says:

    Forget about all those uber-productive journal chicks, do your own thing at your own pace and love the results – you’re already a journal keeper, now you’ll step into a new world of journals, it’s fun. No rules, no set pace, just your own expression. Bon voyage!