People Who Say Yes

June 18th, 2009

I should be used to Mean Girls by now after 15 years of publishing a magazine for women. I’ve had my fair share of nasty letters from women who think I deserve a comeuppance. Letters accusing me of being an elitist (hey, I want to respond, my toilet was outdoors the first 12 years of my life!), a man hater (yikes, my list of lovers says I have the opposite problem–I might be a slut!), a fake feminist (is there a secret handshake and password?), a plastic surgery pusher (I’d probably do it too if I weren’t so afraid of pain and anesthesia), an abortion loving liberal (yep, I’m pro choice forever). At first, I used to cry whenever I got a critical letter. Then I got mad. Now I try to shake it off and not give my energy away to strangers. But every letter like that makes me realize how judgmental I’ve been at times of women I don’t even know, and how that shames and teaches me. But it also makes me realize how much time all of us spend getting angry about the wrong things. I want to save my anger for men who beat up women, for rapists who walk free, for girls who aren’t allowed to go to school. And I want to celebrate people who are creating something, making art out of their lives, throwing a party for no reason other than being alive. I want to be one of those people, but I have a long way to go.

5 Responses to “People Who Say Yes”

  1. your friend says:

    But you stop yourself before speaking your real truth, right? Take this the next step deeper. What is it that you *really* think here that you aren't willing to go all the way and reveal… come on, you can do it.

  2. Carl says:

    you are amazing

  3. CarolinaDreamz says:

    Thanks for taking many for the team. (I popped in, via LowCountry blogroll.)

    I'm going to adopt that.. and try not to give my energy away to strangers.. great idea.

    ~Heidi

  4. susannassketchbook says:

    Yes, it's hard not to take mean comments or letters to heart, especially when it's about something we care about, or something we've created, or something about ourselves that we know isn't fair or true. Just know that there are plenty of other people in your life who think you are amazing.

  5. seastararts says:

    only those with a true heart would care. good thing you care… xo