Not-so-deep Dark Secrets

September 19th, 2009

  • I like to run the air conditioner with the front door open. I know, I know–it’s bad. But I can’t help wanting to do it.
  • I don’t like fruit. I know it’s good for me and I eat it because I have to, but I don’t ever go, “Oh god I’m craving a mango and some hormone-free yogurt made in Iceland with a scoop of fat-free granola.” I grew up eating bread, butter and sugar sandwiches, every apple is a step forward for me.
  • I think the Guinness Book of World Records is a stupid waste of time, as is so much stuff (any MTV awards show, People Magazine, Vanity Fair, The View, pie eating contests) aimed at taking our minds off the fact of our mortality.
  • Despite the point above, I have to admit I love Flipping Out on Bravo. Hey, I’m human and like to forget I’m mortal every now and then.
  • I am utterly lazy at heart.
  • I worry about smelling bad when I’m old. I also worry that no one will tell me if I do. Is it inevitable?
  • I’m incredibly bored by reading or hearing about people’s weddings. Like dreams, I think they are mainly interesting to the people who are having them or hoping to have them. Marriages, on the other hand, have infinite drama.
  • My biggest regret is that I wasn’t successful at marriage. It makes me feel less-than even though I have an amazing life.
  • I’m addicted to reading mysteries because I love the god-like character of the Detective (excepting Miss Marple, who totally annoys me) and the possibility it will all come right in the end. Could that be why I was bad at marriage? Living with ambiguity is not my strong suit.

3 Responses to “Not-so-deep Dark Secrets”

  1. corine says:

    i'm so with you on the fruit thing. I bet you're a vata (Ayurveda body type) When I found out I was it liberated me of all fruit-induced guilt

  2. V-Grrrl says:

    It took me years to recognize that smart people read celebrity gossip to escape Big Thoughts. I used to think all gossip readers were Not Smart. Now I know better.

    I'm with you on weddings. They rank up there with childbirth stories in level of interest. I wasn't even interested in my own wedding, but I've been living the marriage drama for 27 years.

    My not-so-deep secrets:
    I rarely read fiction. I can't find novels that engage me.

    My biggest regret? Leaving behind a substantial scholarship and a 3.98 college GPA to get married and move to Oklahoma. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

    I was teased about my appearance as a teenager and still struggle with the after effects from time to time.

  3. Alex says:

    I thought I was the only one who ran the a.c. with the door open!! hahahaha I really do it too!