Name Calling

October 22nd, 2009

I’ve been hearing about Croning ceremonies a lot recently (I guess I’m eligible now), and I just don’t want to be one. Why do men celebrate their midlife crises by buying a sports car, but we’re supposed to be rebirthed as wise women and revered elders, who just coincidentally are also invisible in this culture? Crones might be central figures in fairy tales, but for an archetype to have continuing mythic power, doesn’t it have to be relevant to the way we live now?Otherwise we’re just pretending to each other. If you’re lucky enough to gain some power at that age like a Madeleine Albright or Hillary, it’s usually at the price of being sexless. You put on your pantsuits and collect brooches and never give off a whiff of musk, just old lady lavender. But if you dare to speak truth to power or speak too loudly, the other side of cronedom is invoked–the hag, the witch, the malicious old woman. Not so men. The older and grayer, the sexier and more sought after. And they’re certainly not chasing crones their own age. Maybe women who are involved in the Crone movement and menopause workshops hope to change the way our culture regards older women. I admire them for that, but I don’t want to be a Crone any more than I want to be a Cougar. I hope as I age that I’ll find more to me than I ever imagined, an identity that doesn’t require either workshopping or bedhopping to discover.

One Response to “Name Calling”

  1. V-Grrrl says:

    I do feel invisible.

    Sometimes it is depressing and lonely, and other times it is liberating and freeing. I can do anything not because I'm magically powerful and wise but because no one is watching, and no one cares.

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