Mini Me

March 12th, 2008
A friend had a collage I did of myself made into stickers. I still have a sheet of them left and when I pulled them out today, I thought about what I would do if I had a bunch of Mini Me’s running around. If I got to live more than one dream or if I were more adventurous. Here are some tasks I’d assign the She Me’s.
  • Live in France for a six months by yourself. Learn more French. Ask for help, directions, friendship. Eat in cafes every day. Wear a beret even if your head is unfortunately shaped like a lima bean. Go to Versailles on a cold, rainy day. Get chic.
  • Learn to ski. I’m too afraid of broken bones, but you could do it, bigger-boned, milk-drinking, snow-loving Me.
  • Go to Tahiti and get a tattoo. On your/my instep.
  • Get over my Methodist guilt about owning a vibrator. Assign a friend to dispose of it in case I get run over by a truck so my kids won’t have to think of me as a sexual being. Use it more often.
  • Please eat my 5 servings of fruits and vegetables so I have more time for French fries.
  • Read Middlemarch for me so I can stop stressing about it.
  • Learn to tango or salsa or hula or some dance that requires movement from the waist down.
  • Go to London for the weekend with a tote bag and a book.
  • Learn to cook. Learn to have company. Learn to love it.
  • Leave home without it: fear of the future, self-consciousness, Protestant broomstick up my ass, Spanx, Blackberry, timetables, schedules, Big Giant Ego.

One Response to “Mini Me”

  1. Liz says:

    them there are no small list of tasks! and I have to say I loved every one of them