See me reflected in the faucet. See me trying to control the flow. I spent the day with my son and his ex (third) wife who he is back together with for the third time. I want to wash my hands of the continuing, chaotic drama that is their life, but instead I find myself relaxing into the fact that it is their drama, not mine. I can enjoy my grandchildren, have earnest heart-to-hearts with my (ex) daughter in law, appreciate my son’s dry wit and let them GPS their own lives. Of course I want guarantees: Please don’t hurt my son again; Please don’t screw up your kids again; Please don’t promise her more than you can deliver. But in the end, I have to let go and let flow. I don’t have to be drawn into a guilt trip down memory lane about my faults as a mom (oh so many!) or feel drawn to give them advice (Are you sure it’s the right thing to get back together?). I can just … enjoy. Going with the flow sometimes feels like giving up or giving in, but sometimes, like tonight, feels simply like giving. My time, my presence, my un-judgment.
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See me reflected in the faucet. See me trying to control the flow. I spent the day with my son and his ex (third) wife who he is back together with for the third time. I want to wash my hands of the continuing, chaotic drama that is their life, but instead I find myself relaxing into the fact that it is their drama, not mine. I can enjoy my grandchildren, have earnest heart-to-hearts with my (ex) daughter in law, appreciate my son’s dry wit and let them GPS their own lives. Of course I want guarantees: Please don’t hurt my son again; Please don’t screw up your kids again; Please don’t promise her more than you can deliver. But in the end, I have to let go and let flow. I don’t have to be drawn into a guilt trip down memory lane about my faults as a mom (oh so many!) or feel drawn to give them advice (Are you sure it’s the right thing to get back together?). I can just … enjoy. Going with the flow sometimes feels like giving up or giving in, but sometimes, like tonight, feels simply like giving. My time, my presence, my un-judgment. 
I know where you’re coming from! It’s so hard not to give our grown children advice. After all, we’ve been through most of what they’re going through and could probably save them some time and heartache. In the end, I guess that’s what they’re here for – to get/grow through their own heartaches. Maybe our job is just to get out of the way so we don’t fall with them?
“simply feels like giving.”
Oh my. So powerful. I will carry your words with me.
Mayberry Magpie