Silly hometown dramas, like who is mad at soandso and what soandso said about youknowwho. Riding my bike at what I think is daring breakneck speed down a back street. Playing 18th century dress-up with the package of beauty marks I ordered from Bell’occhio…the placement of the one at the corner of my eye is called “La Galante” and means, “risque/determined.” Working on two laptops at once…ooooo I’m so cool. Bringing home two bags of books from Barnes and Noble and stacking them up on a chair spines out and just savoring the pleasure they are going to give me and delaying it as long as I can–tantric book yoga. Learning something new on Photoshop. Talking to the orchid I bought at Whole Foods on the way home in the car…although that might be weird. Archive for ‘Lists’
I Heart…
April 6th, 2008 Silly hometown dramas, like who is mad at soandso and what soandso said about youknowwho. Riding my bike at what I think is daring breakneck speed down a back street. Playing 18th century dress-up with the package of beauty marks I ordered from Bell’occhio…the placement of the one at the corner of my eye is called “La Galante” and means, “risque/determined.” Working on two laptops at once…ooooo I’m so cool. Bringing home two bags of books from Barnes and Noble and stacking them up on a chair spines out and just savoring the pleasure they are going to give me and delaying it as long as I can–tantric book yoga. Learning something new on Photoshop. Talking to the orchid I bought at Whole Foods on the way home in the car…although that might be weird. Life List
March 27th, 2008
I think doing a Life List is stupid, but a couple of weeks ago I succumbed, set the kitchen timer for an hour and came up with 100 things to put on my list. After 25 I was groping in the dark, really straining to figure out things I wanted to do. Which reinforces my belief that it’s not achieving goals that is hard–it’s coming up with things you want passionately, utterly, intensely. One of the strange things that happened was writing down a seemingly impossible goal and a couple of weeks later, realizing that I had achieved it without even trying. So I might become a believer in this process. Here are a few of my 100:
#24. Plant a garden to keep this Buddha company.
#46. Play more Scrabble.
#27. Find a guru.
#84. Meet Levon Helm.
#56. Live in Hawaii.
#1. See the Northern Lights.
I forgot to put on my list: meet Bigfoot/have sex with a fireman/find a bra that fits.
Mini Me
March 12th, 2008
A friend had a collage I did of myself made into stickers. I still have a sheet of them left and when I pulled them out today, I thought about what I would do if I had a bunch of Mini Me’s running around. If I got to live more than one dream or if I were more adventurous. Here are some tasks I’d assign the She Me’s.- Live in France for a six months by yourself. Learn more French. Ask for help, directions, friendship. Eat in cafes every day. Wear a beret even if your head is unfortunately shaped like a lima bean. Go to Versailles on a cold, rainy day. Get chic.
- Learn to ski. I’m too afraid of broken bones, but you could do it, bigger-boned, milk-drinking, snow-loving Me.
- Go to Tahiti and get a tattoo. On your/my instep.
- Get over my Methodist guilt about owning a vibrator. Assign a friend to dispose of it in case I get run over by a truck so my kids won’t have to think of me as a sexual being. Use it more often.
- Please eat my 5 servings of fruits and vegetables so I have more time for French fries.
- Read Middlemarch for me so I can stop stressing about it.
- Learn to tango or salsa or hula or some dance that requires movement from the waist down.
- Go to London for the weekend with a tote bag and a book.
- Learn to cook. Learn to have company. Learn to love it.
- Leave home without it: fear of the future, self-consciousness, Protestant broomstick up my ass, Spanx, Blackberry, timetables, schedules, Big Giant Ego.
Things I Love
February 11th, 2008
A long long time ago, a lover who also happened to be my English Lit professor told me to read The Pillow Book, by Sei Shonagon, an aristocratic lady who lived in Japan c.966-1017. Her lists of what she loved or hated have inspired me to make my own throughout the years:
* Friday night on the couch with People (thanks dear daughters for my birthday subscription) and a glass of wine
* My friend’s fur coat…I know it’s wrong but I can enjoy it without feeling the guilt of ownership. Please don’t PETA me!
* Jack Nicholson…another guilty pleasure.
* The Weather Channel…the suspense keeps me on the edge of my seat.
* baked sweet potatoes with butter and salt
* Wanda Sykes…I wish she were my friend.
* Rayban Wayfarers…I look like a dork in them but they’re impossibly cool.
* prayer flags…I believe they work.
* Australian Blue Heelers
* Dr. Lyons, CNN’s hurricane expert, because he looks like a tall kindly sock monkey.
* my new Mac Book
* new shoes, because I think anything is possible the first time I wear them
* Real Sports on HBO
* the Great Wall of China…it makes me happy to think that it exists. I don’t need to walk it, run a marathon on it, take a tour to it, have my picture taken on it. I’m just glad it’s there.
* bamboo trees swaying in the wind. I’m growing a forest in my backyard.
* the view of London from the Tate Modern restaurant
* blowsy overblown tulips
* cherry pie with vanilla ice cream should be the National Dessert. Democratic tart and Republican vanilla mediated by honest heartfelt crust.
Things to Cut Out of My Life
January 25th, 2008
people I never hear from unless they want somethingmeetings that last longer than 15 minutes
Breyer’s Vanilla & Guiseppe’s Pizza
staying in motion to cover up loneliness
spending money to cover up loneliness
plastic grocery bags and water bottles
worrying about the impression I make–it’s too late now
the impulse to own a juicer, an espresso machine or a panini grill
obsessive fear of products made in China–let ‘em live, let ‘em work
MSNBC
Bank of America, where nobody knows your name
If I Were 3 Years Old Again…
December 16th, 2007
* I would fingerpaint my way into adulthood.
* I would plant my feet and not be moved.
* I would resist being a good girl.
* I would talk back early and often.
* I would graduate from high school as early as I could, because it’s the most boring and pointless institution ever invented.
* I wouldn’t worry one single day about what They think of me.
* I would explore every corner of America.
* I wouldn’t confuse my soul with my ego.
* I would to go to the movies more often.
* I would make friendship my career.
* I would learn to grow my own food.
* I would choose instead of being chosen.
Things I Wish I’d Find in my Mailbox
November 25th, 2007
the MacArthur Genius Award letter
a letter from the man I lived with for 7 years–is he dead or alive?
the first issue of Planet Nikki, a magazine that doesn’t exist
rebate checks
clues to a treasure hunt
fan mail
gift certificate for a 90 minute massage
a small cherry pie–homemade
a bird’s nest
an anonymous mix cd
an invitation from someone unexpected
mysterious messages of extraordinary goodwill
