Is there a stage in Buddhism where inner calm is always at war with the thorns of I-ness, the selfish Self, the thisness of the world? I know I will never be a real Buddhist because I’m too lazy to study and live it, but I’m fascinated by the idea of detaching from wants. Is it really possible? I live at 721 Shallow Street, but I also aspire to live at 0 Desires Court. Being attached to the things of the world is thorny and full of pain — I always want more than I have, I always want to be better than I am (just as much an earthly attachment as a Prada purse) and I always want to be moving on up to Enlightenment Avenue (so presumptuous of me). But I’m mostly a Libra, snagged by the thorns and yet yearning for the lotus blossom.
I like the imagery of thorns and lotus blossoms. Are you sure you’re not a Buddhist?
i had a revelation last week that had me asking myself why i don’t want more, ask for more, even demand more. why am i happy with the hand-me-down camera, car, mattress, furniture, TV, and the oldest version of every electronic?
seriously, in my house and in my life, i get whatever others are done with and i’m fine and never think about it. last week when i saw what a long standing pattern this was with me, i paused and wondered if i was “enlightened” or instead a victim of poor self-esteem.